The purpose of this post is to explore some thoughts and feelings I had firsthand and my reflections on them; I might be wrong in my conclusions. I do not intend to offend anyone.
There was a time in my life when I hadn’t worked out for a long time, had long deviated far from my planned diet and even general eating guidelines. When once the thought of Mcdonald’s was nauseating, I was now looking forward to first an apple pie and eventually allowed more burgers (KFC and Burger King to be specific hahaha) into my life.
I guess a combination of my job, genetics and perhaps age kept me from becoming overweight, but I felt horrible. In fact I had been feeling horrible for a long time, but did nearly nothing to improve my situation.
And so one evening while eating an apple pie, I sort of realised a few things. They can be summarised to the following cycle:
You get too busy or tired with work/life/responsibilities and stop doing healthy things because you’re either exhausted, have no motivation, time, or a combination of the above.
You get out of shape and it bugs you, but it isn’t bad enough for you to take drastic action. Plus you’re barely surviving; fitness seems like a secondary goal now.
If you descent long enough you reach a stage where you are so far behind that it takes too much and too much out of you to climb out of this rut. This is when you don’t like your reflection, hide away clothes you can’t fit, feel like a weak loser in the gym, and maybe start despising ‘fit’ people and justifying your poor life choices. Food is more of a friend now.
If you’re just plain lazy or have never been fit and/or disciplined/strict with yourself, it’ll probably hurt a lot less. You just sink into this identity.
For busy and tired people especially, entertainment and food become a primary source of rest, relaxation and escapism from the grind. Food is special because it also meets a survival necessity. Good food is a bonus! You must eat to live and therefore have no reason not to enjoy it anyway.
For those who are upset with their state but can’t get out yet, food can become a consoling factor. You feel like crap about yourself and so eat delicious crap to get away from the crappy feelings.
That’s the beginning of the vicious food cycle: excessive (in relation to both activity levels and sheer survival need)/ unhealthy food soothes stress/bad feelings yet act as fuel for further negative feelings down the road.
You then either hide all the bad things away from your mind, or embrace it as your new identity.
But there are some who reach a rock bottom, and that’s actually their turning point: they figure they’ve had enough of the current state of things, and so they take control. Little by little they wrest back what was lost to lack of structure, pettiness, insufficient discipline, not enough guidance and perhaps the wrong crowd.
And the higher they climb they better they fare and so the faster they move. Then there will be that one moment when they look down and shudder at the thought that they let themselves fall so far down.
Ok that’s all.